Thoughts

Not being one who enjoys controversy or conflict, I have let this post rest in my mind a while. In a lot of ways, I have no standing to speak on such a subject (when has that stopped me), but I am hoping something here will resonate.

I have never been raped. I have never been an unwed teenager whose family has disowned me. I have never been diagnosed with a disease while pregnant for which the treatment is incompatible with maintaining life for my unborn child. I have never been told that the baby I am carrying has a chromosomal abnormality which will result in his or her death within hours or days of delivery. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy.

I know people, however who have had such situations. I am not saying that I know OF people, I am saying I know the people. I have a relatively new friend. I do not see him often. His wife learned that she had cancer about the same day she learned she was pregnant with her second child. She chose to postpone her treatments and carry that child to term. She died around his 2nd birthday. Some would say she made the wrong choice. Whoever would say that definitely has not met that ray-of-sunshine precious child. We, as parents, say things like, "I would die for my child!" We mean it. For most of us, however, at least in this country, the likelihood of that being necessary is remote. Here is a woman who did just that.

I am well-acquainted with other young women who learned that their babies would not survive long after birth due to a fluke chromosomal abnormality.  Each of them was offered the option to terminate the pregnancy. Each chose to make a place in her body, in her heart, in her life, and in her memories for those babies.

All these women shed untold number of tears. All of their hearts were broken, and remain a bit fractured because of their experience. All of them, if given the power, would have delivered healthy babies. It was not to be. All of them can look in those fractured places and know they did all they could do for their child. I admire their courage more than I can say.

This brings me to the subject of abortion and those mothers who make that decision. I am one who does not believe that a woman who chooses that route should have to go in a dirty back alley to a butcher. I am also one who believes that abortions end a life.  I wonder, if on some level, abortions end two lives. It is my belief that any woman who chooses to terminate a pregnancy, especially for convenience, never ever recovers emotionally. So rather than demonizing women who feel, for whatever reason, that their only option is abortion, I feel profound sadness. I do not think our maternal hearts were designed for such grief.