It has been a strange morning. 3:00 am the phone rings. Now, I have gotten those wee-hours-of-the-morning phone calls, and rarely have they ever been good news. I am in the dream state of sleep. The dream was rather odd, a male member of the family wearing a green plaid flannel shirt with the waistband of his khakis pulled up under his arm pits held up by a lovely decorative belt, walking around with an open gallon jar of gasoline as he observes the artwork of another family member. Weird! So, I am not my most alert when I answer the phone.
With fear and trembling I say, "hello?" A heavily accented young man is speaking, and all I hear are "ambulance" and "hospital." Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I am wondering why someone from Pakistan is calling me to tell me that one of my children has gone to the hospital in an ambulance. Is a baby coming, but, again, why have they asked a Pakistani to call? So I proceed to speak loudly to the young man until finally I hear "Mrs. Sweeeeeeeeeetzer." Oh, Mr. Lincoln's mom has gone to the hospital in an ambulance. "Hang on a second, " I say, and hand the phone to Mr. Lincoln. I hear his conversation, he gets the hospital's number, and is actually able to talk to his mother. She is having another spell, similar to several she has had in recent months. Her blood pressure is 200/99, and so in fine Paducah medical tradition, the doctors decide she has inner ear problems and send her home.
Several weeks ago, I bought a crib for the 2 grandbabies on the way. I really got it free with credit card bonus points. I only had to charge thousands of dollars over several years to have enough points to get a $200.00 crib, but, still, it felt free. It has been standing up in a closet in the packing crate for about two months. Yesterday, I decided to buy a mattress and sheets and put the bed together. Following the directions, I laid out all the parts...footboard, headboard, 2 side rails, 4 casters, set of springs, 1 stabilizing bar...1 stabilizing bar? No way. It's not here. Really?
I call the company who manufactures the bed, and explained my situation. Perhaps, the young woman with whom I spoke is related to the gentleman who called me this morning. I get that my inability to understand accents is my problem, and so I try always, almost always (there was that time I told a company that I could not conduct business with them until I could communicate with someone who spoke English...I'm not proud of that) to be extremely kind. She told me to email all the information to her. I had to wonder, does she not have a pen and paper? But, I did as asked and thanked them profusely for attending to my problem. Today, they call back and tell me that it will be $10 for them to mail me the stabilizing bar that they failed to put in the packing. She said that all companies that carry their product pay for that sort of thing. How do they get Babies R Us to pay shipping for a part they failed to include? I have no idea. I did inquire, but quickly capitulated, and gave her my credit card number to charge the $10. Hey, it's ten more dollars toward my next set of bonus points.
My day is dedicated to cleaning my house before the woman who cleans my house comes tomorrow. This is a concept that Mr. Lincoln just cannot quite grasp. "Do we not pay her to clean? Why must we do the pre-clean?" To which I reply, "we don't want her to know what slobs we really are. She wouldn't come back! Duh." Actually, I am not really cleaning, I am just putting things away. Well what I am really doing is playing sporcle, eating, blogging, facebooking, and reading as I contemplate putting things away. This is why I have someone clean my house. I am way too easily distracted. Well, that and my back problems of recent years. Actually, my back is quite healed, but Mr. Lincoln does not really need to know all those particulars. I think he finds me much more pleasant to be around when I am not the chief of clean up.
In the midst of the great flurry of putting things away, I decide that I must get some Comet for my kitchen sink. No, I do not provide the cleaning supplies for the woman who cleans for me, but I mean that sink is really dirty, and I would be embarrassed for her to see it. Also, I am in need of a Diet Coke although I have proclaimed that I am going to stop drinking them. I hear that Aspertame is not good for one's memory, and heaven knows, I do not need anything to impede my ability to remember things. But, not being a fan of the "cold turkey" method of breaking a habit, I feel that a trip to the grocery is in order ~ for Comet and a Diet Coke.
I find myself distracted at the store. I figured I could pick up a Valentine Card for my son-in-law. I have already bought cards for the other 3 "children" in the family, but a Valentine Card for a son-in-law is a bit more difficult. The cards are either terribly inappropriately mushy or ridiculously juvenile. As I searched, I was reminded of a card that a young family member bought for a middle-aged woman that he did not know very well. On the card, was the drawing of a rather plump (fat) woman in a ruffled bathing suit. The sentiment inside said, "I think the skirt makes all the difference, don't you." Thank heaven he ran it by more socially astute members of the family before he sent it. Another trip to the card store was in order. I still laugh when I think of that card. Eventually, I find a card with a true heartfelt, appropriate sentiment...oh, look at all the beautiful flowers. Perhaps, I need some flowers. Maybe, I'll check out the magazines...oh, look, New York Times bestsellers 25% off...oh, I've really been wanting to read this book.....now, that is a cute red bowl with a white heart on it, what could I make to put in that to give someone for Valentine's...you get the picture. $138.00 later, I leave Kroger with my Diet Coke, book, lots of other stuff...seriously, I forgot the Comet? I have got to reduce my intake of Aspertame!!
So, for today, I wish you non-interrupted sleep, the perfect card, a good memory, and I wish you
blessings
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