Saturday, June 30, 2018

Love, Hate, and Facebook

I sort of have a love~hate relationship with Facebook.  Political posts make me crazy.  It doesn't matter if you are far left or far right...it is the word "far" that aggravates.  Reconciling some of my FB friends who are professed Jesus followers and their political posts is pretty much impossible for me.  Perhaps, I lack imagination and that prevents my being able to do that.  Of course, certainly, my FB friends have no obligation to make sure their political posts are palatable to me.  Thank Goodness for the "unfollow" button.  If the same person's posts make me red in the face three days in a row, they are unfollowed because I do not want to allow FB posts to cause me to feel badly toward someone.  I'm sure they survive that unfollowing without missing a beat.  I do have two or three friends who post political commentary that do it thoughtfully and, in my mind, consistently with their beliefs.  These I read and appreciate even if I don't agree.

I really dislike Fakebook. Personally, I think this is a bigger problem (I hope) for young people than for adults.  I certainly hope no adults are looking at other people's posts and feeling intimidated and/or jealous.  We are not in junior high school.  But, for those who haven't matured enough to realize that those posts are the "highlight reels" (thanks to Josh Graves for that term) not real life, they can be extremely damaging.  For me to feel jealous of someone's job, car, multiple homes, trips etc...is sort of like taking the gift of my own messy, mixed-up, sometimes sad, sometimes foul, wonderful, beautiful life and throwing it back in the face of the One who gave it to me.  Twice in my life, I have had someone reject the gift I had given them.  Once it was actually thrown down with the exclamation, "ewwwww, give it to a boy!"  The recipient was a girly girl, and so in hindsight, perhaps, a pirate ship was not the best choice.  That day I learned a lesson; don't give a gift that YOU want, but rather know your audience and find something special that they would want.  The other time, I had handknitted a scarf for someone I loved dearly and who loved me dearly.  I was taken aback when the gift was opened and they stated, "that's nice, but I'll never wear it."  I learned a good lesson that day too; you still love people dearly after they have made what could be a hurtful statement and being "hurt" is a choice. Having said all that, I do not want to be guilty of thinking my life is not enough because of what someone posts on FB, or for any other reason for that matter.

I really do not like Vaguebook.  You know the posts ~ "I can't believe that just happened!"  This is only appropriate if a national sporting event is on TV and everyone is watching and something like the Music City Miracle just happened...in my humble opinion.  Or ~ " oh, no!"  What oh no?  Stop, just stop.  Or a post from someone who hasn't posted in three years and they put, "here we go again."  No, no, no.  Or the "virtue signaling" as someone close to me calls it.  If you've done something mighty fine, just say it if you need it told.  Please don't beat around the bush or passively-aggressively try to manipulate the rest of us into telling about your righteousness. Either keep it to yourself in your heart or boast about it from the highest mountain, just choose.  You get what I mean.  I don't mean the "will you pray for my friend" with no explanation.  I don't need explanations to offer prayers on behalf of someone.

But, there are things about FB that I really love.  I love seeing the pictures of your children, grandchildren, weddings, anniversaries, animals in your yard, Pinterest fails and successes, trips (I have enjoyed many a vicarious trip thanks to FB), birthdays, friend gatherings, etc.  I love seeing all that.  I have connected with many people, some of whom I would have no idea where they are or what their lives have been without FB. For a committed introvert, it is a wonderful way to stay in touch.  

I have especially enjoyed the month of June on FB.  I'm a little sad that today is the last day of our June photo challenge. 8 or 9 of us have pretty consistently (6 of us haven't missed a day) posted a daily prompted picture.  The pictures are great and they have also been a window into the lives of those of us who have posted.  Two of the other 5 I grew up with in church.  They are brothers.  Because of FB, we have reconnected.  I have had lunch with them here in Nashville.  They both have been on my walking tour at different times.  They are fine men, husbands, fathers, and grandfathers.  They are adventurers, and have afforded me, through FB, to see many beautiful places.  It just gives my heart a little bubble of happiness to be reconnected with them and, indirectly, with their families. Thank you Bobby and Tommy (you'll never be Bob and Tom to me) for allowing me to know you and those you love so well.  Oh, and thanks for teaching me about earthquake bolts.  I never knew.

The only other female in our group I did not think I knew at all.  She is friends of the brothers and a wonderful photographer, wife, mom, grandmother to lots of grandchildren...just a really nice person.  Talking with a friend who attended the same high school as this new FB friend, I asked if she knew her.  She said, "yes, she was in my wedding!"  So was I in that wedding.  Obviously, Debbie and I had met before ~ 46 years ago.  When she and I were on FB messenger talking about this, she told me that her husband was in my split 5th grade class at Dalewood Elementary School.  What a small, small world!  Thank you, Debbie, for sharing parts of your life with me through this photo challenge.  I have loved getting to know you this way, and look forward to the day that we meet face to face....again.  And, thank you for your encouragement of the photos I have shared and of my grandparenting adventures.

Two of the men in our little crew, I have never met and possibly will never meet.  They are also friends of the brothers mentioned above.  One of these new friends lives in California and one in Arkansas.  Both, again, are loving husbands, dads, and granddads.  They both have had some grand adventures that I have enjoyed witnessing through their photography.  They are creative and encouraging and so very kind.  They enjoy and appreciate their lives. Thank you Gene and Byard for participating in the photo challenge.  I count it pure joy to have had my life touched by yours in this way.  Perhaps, someday, this whole little group will meet at Tommy and Janet's farm and go eat hot dogs.

None of this would have happened without this thing called Facebook.   Moments matter.  I have enjoyed the moments of our photo challenge.  A group of six very different people with different lives, a fact made obvious by our different takes on the photo prompts.  That has been fun too.  On the 29th, the challenge was "someplace colorful."  Posted were, ribbons on a Navy Command Master Chief's chest, a drawer of little girl dresses, a beautiful backyard, a donut shop, a rainbow over some amazing scenery, a field of California poppies, and a bird.  I'm a firm believer that part of our divine spark is displayed in our creativity.  So, again, Tommy, Bobby, Debbie, Gene, Byard and also, Ginger and Tom, thank you, and thank you Facebook!  Until the next time, be well, and keep taking those pictures!




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