23 - Most Proud Moment

23 - most proud moment

I have this odd aversion to the word "proud."  When adults tell other adults they are proud of them, it sounds discordant. Obviously, the intent of "I am proud of you" is encouragement and congratulations
So, I certainly recognize that my dislike of the word is, well......weird. Because of this (it is possible I need serious help), I do not care for this challenge.

Webster defines proud as "very happy and pleased because of something you have done, something you own, someone you know or are related to."  Well, I still don't like it, but in the spirit of the challenge (sort of) I am going to twist it a bit to my happiest moment(s), which had very little to do with anything I did, nothing to do with what I own or who I know, and everything to do with to whom I am related.

My happiest moments were the days my children were born. I realize that mothers who did not have my experience were equally happy at the births of their children. All babies are little miracles; some are just a little harder to get here.

By the time my son was born, I had experienced two miscarriages, a battery of infertility tests, a regimen of fertility pills and painful weekly shots through my 36th week. You can imagine my relief and joy when we reached the point that the baby was "viable" and it looked as if we were really going to have a baby. At my 39th week doctor's visit, I mentioned some symptoms I was having. Thinking it was nothing of import, my doctor still decided to run some tests. After all, we had done everything we knew to do to get this baby here, so extra precaution seemed appropriate.

October 20, found me having regular but not painful labor pains. I figured a baby would be here in the not too distant future, so while I was aware of the contractions, they were not the sort that would cause me to bother the doctor. My phone rang. It was my doctor telling me that the results of the test had come back and I had a beta strep infection. When I asked what that meant, he explained that untreated, if passed to the baby, it could cause blindness, other issues, or death. He said he would immediately call in a prescription for antibiotics, and all should be fine. It was then that I told him I had been having contractions all day. He actually cursed and told me to go straight to the hospital. It was hard to comprehend what was happening.

It was the weekend, and my doctor was not on call. His colleague, whom I had met and really liked, would be taking care of me. To shorten this tale, I will not go through the 15 hours of labor, preeclampsia, wide-open IV of antibiotics etc. that took place. Just let me say, that I had never been happier as I was on October 21 when that baby boy was born, looking healthy. We had to wait three days to be sure he had not contracted the strep, which he had not. Grateful does not even begin to describe my relief.


Twenty-five months later, I had an equally joyful day; the birth of my daughter. Her birth came after a regimen of fertility pills, twice weekly shots through week 16, weekly shots through week 36. My entire pregnancy with her was overshadowed by my fear that she had no limbs. One of the medicines I took while pregnant had the possible side effect of reduced limb growth. For nine months, I was convinced that this second baby would be seriously malformed but dearly loved. Again, no ultrasounds. I did not express my fears to anyone. She was not a kicker and puncher as my son had been. Her main movements in the womb were just a rolling and flipping, further confirming my belief that she had no legs or arms.

Two days before she was born, she quit moving. A trip to the emergency room at my doctor's request, did confirm a heartbeat. That was a long drive to the hospital. On November 15, she was born after about 2 hours of labor.  She was beautiful with the most precious legs and arms and feet and hands and toes and fingers that I had ever seen.

These two people, my son and my daughter, have brought me great joy, heartache, laughter and tears. Knowing them makes me happy, and maybe, just maybe, a bit proud.

23 - my most proud moment - check