This is Not an Argument

Mr. Lincoln is reading a book entitled A Woman Called.  On the front cover the author penned words along the lines of: "this is not an argument...if you want someone with which to wrangle, you might best go elsewhere."  So, I say, this is not an argument.  It is the wonderings of a woman ~ the wonderings of a woman who blogs sometimes.

Recently, I have noticed on FB a debate taking place.  I, personally, make it a point to never, ever discuss anything on FB about which I feel very strongly.  That's just my "policy."  Certainly, I have no criticism for those who do.  In fact, for a person who rarely reads the paper or watches the news, I am often enlightened by others' posts, and am grateful for them.

Last week, North Carolina passed a bill banning same-sex marriage.  There was a lot of chatter on FB concerning this.  Mr. Lincoln and I were discussing this when he shared something he had read that posed the question as to why the government has anything to say about marriage.  It is a matter that really concerns the church (synagogue, mosque, whatever) not government.  I had never thought of it that way, but that makes perfect sense to me.  I do believe that marriage is an institution ordained by God.  I do believe that He means for marriage to be between one man and one woman.  I do.  But, I also am so uncomfortable with telling homosexuals who are in committed relationships that they cannot make medical decisions for one another or that they cannot file joint tax returns, or share health insurance premiums and coverage. 

Sometimes, I think the disconnect comes when heterosexuals equate homosexuality with promiscuity or pedophilia.  While certainly these things do exist among homosexuals, they do not have a monopoly on them.  There are plenty of promiscuous heterosexuals as well as heterosexual pedophiles. 

I will be honest.  Until recently, these matters did not concern me too much....until I learned that a friend is homosexual.  He is married with children.  He fought his homosexual tendencies, admits to making fun of homosexuals just to fit in.  He married and had children in a desire to do what he thought he was "supposed" to do.  He considered suicide on several occasions, thinking that his family would never have to know.  This is a man who lived in torment.   About 3 years ago, with the encouragement of a close friend, he decided to "come out of the closet."   He is a man of great character.  Fortunately, he has not found the recriminations he expected...not from his wife, his family, or his church.  He puts a face to this issue.  He is a man I admire and respect.  He wife is one of the most exceptional people I have ever met. 

There are plenty of people who do not believe that homosexuals should be allowed to adopt.  I have to wonder.  I know of at least one lesbian couple in my hometown that adopts special needs children.  They have multiple children that have had major surgeries, expensive surgeries followed by long recoveries.  These are children whose heterosexual parents either could not or would not take on the needs of their own children.  I cannot discount the love these two women have for these children and for each other. 

Maybe it would all be best left up to one's church or synagogue or mosque or whatever.  Let the government issue "committed relationship" licenses, and let the church decide what is a marriage as laid out in the scriptures and creeds each faith follows.  I figure the government never really was in the marriage business.  The powers that be just began to charge for the licenses in an effort to make money.  And, I do not even want to get started on the mess we make of marriage, which in turn results in the government getting involved again to issue divorce decrees.  Remember, this is not an argument.  I am just wondering.  The older I get, the more I know I do not know.  I actually seem to grow more confused.

While I don't know many things.  Here is one thing I do know.  If we can put a name and a face on individuals, we will find ourselves less judgmental of a demographic or situation.  We will find that things are not as black and white as we once thought.  Children will sometimes on my tour point at a homeless man and ask, "Mrs. Switzer, is that a bum over there?"  I always reply, "I couldn't say.  I do not know him personally."  That confuses children because they believe that all homeless people are bums.  I tell them that there are plenty of rich bums living in nice houses.  I have also had friends say, we should just bomb Iraq off the map and let God sort it out, or HIV is what homosexuals deserve.  Well, all I can say is, "God, please spare me what I deserve."  Perhaps, we would all be better off if we just loved everyone and "let God sort it out."  Just a wondering, not an argument.

For today, I wish you re-examination of matters you thought were settled, I wish you understanding, I wish you compassion, and I wish you

blessings,