I find that I am sick unto death of grumpy people. Grumpy is a cutesy word for peevish, bad-tempered, surly. It is wearing. It is repellent. I am so tired of grumpy people. I notice that grumpy people expect perfection from those around them, but seemingly do not expect all that much from themselves. Their lives are always the hardest, the most frustrating, the most tiring, fraught with the most problems. Nobody understands them, or what they are going through. Most of the time, what they are going through is life; the messiness of life, of having a spouse, of having kids, of having a job, of owning a house, etc. Apparently, in recent weeks, I have been giving off some vibe because I have run into lots of grumpy people lately. Frankly, I am sick of it.
I despise it when people hang up on me on the phone just because I am unable to articulate an answer to a question in a manner that is acceptable to them. I have to be unbearably angry at someone to hang up on them without saying good-bye. In fact, I can probably count on one hand how many times I have done that. How does one arrive at the place where that is acceptable? It is grossly rude, and unbelievably dismissive and disrespectful. I am sorry they are having a bad moment, a bad day, a bad life, but unless you can tell me what I can do to help you through it, please do not make me the target of your surly attitude.
A month or so ago, I stopped at a grocery to pick up some sliced chicken for lunch. The young man at the deli asked if he could help me, and I said, "I would like 1/2 pound of Boar's Head sliced chicken, please." He replied, in an impatient and disgusted manner (I do not go around looking for my feelings to be hurt, trust me, so I was not being overly sensitive), "what kind of chicken, ma'am? We have many different kinds of chicken, so which kind do you want?" I asked if they had ovenroast to which he replied, "yes," and I told him that would be fine. At some point he realized how extraordinarily rude he had been and tried to rectify it by being overly solicitous. A simple, "I'm sorry, I did not mean to be rude," would have been sufficient. I know people have hard days. But, come on, your job is to cut meat for a customer, smile, hand it to them, and thank them for their business. Should we not expect more of ourselves?
There is a man I see almost every day on my tours. One morning, last week, when I spoke to him, he grunted at me. I mean, he literally grunted at me. I thanked him for his help, and, people, he grunted at me. No words. No comment. No smile. Just a grunt that let me know that I was in his way, and he did not appreciate it. Problem is, I was not in his way. I was doing what I do every morning. He was just in a bad mood, and I became the target of it. I wished him a good day, to which he grunted, and then I went on my way. What he does is his job. I am probably the least of his annoyances in a day. All he has to do is open a door for me, often after I have been waiting patiently for quite some time. Some mornings, it is like he is mad at me for waiting. Lots of days he is, if not friendly, at least not so bad-tempered, but do we not have some obligation to good manners to not pollute our surroundings with our bad dispositions?
I went to the doctor last week. The nurse called me back. She never looked at me. She never asked me how I was doing. She announced aloud what I weighed, which I found extremely indiscreet, but I will not hold that against her. She asked her standard questions in a curt way...do you smoke, do you use alcohol, do you exercise? Then she asked, "what is your occupation?" I replied, "I do walking tours of Downtown Nashville." Still without looking at me, she rather sharply said, "I said, what is your occupation?" I replied, "I do walking tours of Downtown Nashville." Then she said, a bit louder, "I said, ma'am, what is your occupation." I replied, "I do walking tours of Downtown Nashville, admittedly at this point not being overly concerned with her understanding me or not. Why does someone go into the medical field if patients are just going to be a disturbance?
Truly, I think some people cultivate their grumpiness. They can control the people around them because, heaven knows, we don't want to cross them, and have to deal with their nastiness, so we just pussy-foot around them to spare ourselves the headache, and they just continue on as if they had some right to it. I am sick of it.
I realize that grumpiness can be caused by pain, mental illness, medication, living secret lives, addiction, feeling crappy about oneself, living outside one's value system, and other reasons. But please, tell me there is a way to overcome; a way to practice impluse control; a way to not have to verbalize every hateful, impatient, angry thought that pops into one's head. Why must the rest of us suffer because you cannot control yourself. Get a grip!! Please!!
I do not take others' grumpiness to heart. It does not make me feel badly about myself or wonder what I have done to cause it. Unless my appearance is just disgusting, I pretty much know that your grumpiness is yours, and you need to deal with it. But, when I watch people I care about wallowing in that rut of ill-temper, it tears me up...for them, and for the people they live with and say they love.
So, I say, thank you Mr. Lincoln for being such a lovely roommate and not a surly, sulking, angry presence in our home. Thank you to the Contributor Vendor on the corner of 6th and Union for your beautiful smile and sincerely warm greetings each day. Thank you to the cashier at Kroger with the big laugh and joyful conversation. Thank you to the teachers who seem genuinely happy to see me at the start of their tours. Thank you to the young man who waited on me at Fresh Market last night for your helpful customer service. Thank you to all you people who are hurting in so many ways, and yet, who do not foist your pain on those around you.
Rise up oh men of grumpiness...have done with that lesser thing. Get help for yourself...for whatever is robbing you of your joy. Find a way to clear the fume of funk that follows you and fouls the air for those around you. You will feel better, and so will the rest of the world.
I try not to rant too often in this blog, but this was weighing heavily. I feel a bit better.
For today, I wish you graciousness toward yourself and others, the self-control to shut your mouth, an aroma of sweetness instead of the stench of bitterness, and I wish you
blessings
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