Of Babies and Bath Water

Today at church, I sat across the aisle from a young man and his wife.  I have known him his entire life.  He is as fine a man as one would ever hope to meet.  His father is as well.  I love him.  I love his entire family. His mother is a close and trusted friend. They are a common thread that runs through the tapestry of  my life. 

When he was younger, this young man made some bad choices.  He would be the first to admit that.  It is not my story to tell, so I will not share the details.  They are insignificant.  But, in the course of some years, he lost faith in himself and in God.  He also lost faith in Church....that organized, loving, flawed group of people struggling to reflect Jesus in this beautiful world that is often terribly chaotic. 

He was failed by some of us in that church community.  We did not mean to fail him.   We were at times overwhelmed with our own struggles, our own bad choices, our own blindness.  We failed him because of our ignorance.  We failed him because we, ourselves, did not understand how vast and how complete the love of the Father is for each of us.  While we judged his actions, God looked at his heart.  This young man, in a way, abandoned himself and broke his own heart, and because of that, for a season, he could not hear the loving whisperings of the Holy Spirit.  They were drowned out by a cacophony of guilt and shame.

But, as often happens, when the time was right, God sent him a Damascus experience.  It did take more than one such experience before his eyes were opened.   His life did not change immediately and completely as a result of this experience, but the door was ajar.

To further open that door, he was sent a beautiful young woman, who is now his wife.  She is a woman whose dedication to God is strong and sincere.  Like many of us, she finds Church a vehicle for strengthening her faith and for finding a community in which to live.  She is committed to making it part of the life they share. 

This young man could have focused on how we failed him.  By all means, I hope and pray he is cognizant of those failings and their causes.  How could he ever avoid them himself if he was not aware?  But, I am grateful that he did not throw "the baby out with the bath water." How could he ever help us be better without being part of us?  I am grateful that he is willing to give us another chance for it makes my heart soar to see him there.  It blesses my life to see him...the little boy, the messy adolescent, the troubled teenager and the maturing young man, all of whom I love.  None of whom would I have known without this thing called Church Family. 

So, may we all throw out the bath water, but, please may we all keep the baby.

blessings