This week, I was in a meeting where a comment was made about the ridiculous way television portrays men in our society. Truly, if you look at TV advertisements, the men are either all idiots, liars, or pathetically inept. For years that has bothered me. That got me to thinking about some TV couples.
There are some of you out there, bless your hearts, who are married to an Archie Bunker. You know the type. He sits in his personal chair, chugs beer, watches TV, and calls you to bring him something from the kitchen every time you get up. I have no doubt that Archie loved Edith. He just did not finesse if very well. But, I don't think there could have been an Archie without an Edith. He called her a dingbat, so, often she acted like one. Surely, she preferred a different, more loving nickname. I do not recall one time in the show when she asked him to not call her that. She ran around waiting on him as if he were her child. I doubt he even knew how to make a sandwich for himself. One would wish that he had risen to the occasion and helped her out, but she did not expect it, did not request it, and, consequently, did not receive it. I guess it is true.....we teach people how to treat us. Please, I know it was a situation comedy, and heaven knows, I have laughed out loud on many occasions at both of them. In fact, Archie's piercing blue eyes and facial expressions remind me a lot of my own dad, who would never have dreamed of calling my mother a dingbat. He could be not be certain what the repercussion of that would have been, but he could have been certain there would be repercussions, and rightfully so.
Which leads me to the Barones. Some of you are married to a Debra Barone, bless your hearts. Again, this is a sit-com that I watch and often laugh out loud, but I really just do not like Debra much. She is one of the most contentious, micro-managing, shrews to ever be on TV. I mean, yes, Ray is a doofus a lot of the time. Often, the theme of an episode centers around Raymond never helping Debra with the house or the children. Can you blame him? I am certain he has never done anything to please her, so why keep trying. Poor guy. He spends half his life trying to keep Debra from finding out about some mistake he has made. C.S. Lewis has a statement in the chapter on marriage in Mere Christianity that goes something like this: "women who control their husbands don't like themselves and they don't much like the men they control." Debra and Ray Barone seem the perfect example of that. If you watch the show closely, you will see that Debra really doesn't like herself much. And, if she likes Raymond, well, I would hate to see how she would treat someone she didn't like. But, there could be no Debra without a Ray. As a friend said Sunday when we were having a discussion of similar issues, "if these men (meaning the ones being run over by their wives) would just grow some
b-b-b guts, relationships would be a lot better." We were at church so she chose the more ladylike term of "guts," but we all know what she meant. Raymond needs to heed the lesson.
Then, there are the Halperts. I love the Halperts....Jim and Pam. I know, I know, it's a sit-com, but I don't care. I love the Halperts. They just have a totally different vibe from the other 2 couples. They have wonderful senses of humor and see the funny parts of life. They support each other. Even when they might not totally agree, in the public eye, they support each other. Then, together they discuss the issue. One does not wonder if Jim loves Pam. It shows all over his face. He feels really lucky to have her. And, she feels the same about him. Jim changes CeCe's diapers, and Pam doesn't micro-manage the whole procedure. There just seems to be a lovely mutual love and respect with Jim and Pam.
I do not want to be Debra Barone. I do not want to be married to Raymond, which I am not, except maybe when it comes to home repairs (only kidding "he who wishes"). I do not want to be married to Archie Bunker (which I am not and have never been), but I do not want to be an Edith either. I want to be like Pam and Jim. I suspect Debra sort of dreads Ray coming home, unless she wants to berate him for something. I suspect Raymond dreads going home. I suspect Edith dreaded when 5:00 rolled around and it was time for Archie to come home from work. The peace and quiet of her day was about to be shattered. I guess Archie was ready to get home so he could be waited on. Even though Pam and Jim work together, I suspect they are so happy to be at home together, in a place unfettered by the Michael Scotts and Dwight Schrutes of their workday. Instead of chaos, together they find and create peace. When I grow up, I want to be just like the Halperts.
So, for today, I wish you a Jim and Pam sort of happy relationship, and I wish you
blessings
No comments:
Post a Comment