Burps and Hiccups

Week 4 Day 2

Today was practice-our-table-manners day.  Needless to say, after yesterday, I was questioning my sanity in following through with plans to have lunch at The Capitol Grille in The Hermitage Hotel, but I was determined.

They did brilliantly.  Both dressed so nattily in shorts, button down shirts and ties.  They were most handsome escorts.  The first thing each of them did was put his napkin in his laps.  Yay!!  Rule one of good table manners followed.  Who knew that the Hermitage Hotel actually had children's menus.  They read the menu, chose what they wanted and ordered for themselves after a bit of practice with me before the waiter came to take our orders.  "May I please have a grilled cheese, ketchup, and fries, and, do you have root beer?"  The waiter assured him that root beer was his beverage of choice and that they certainly had it.  The other young gentleman ordered "mac and cheese, French fries and root beer."  Forty-five seconds later, there were discreet wails of starvation and "when will our food arrive?"  I was grateful for the discretion shown in the quiet cries.  I assured them that the 2 baggies worth of snacks they had on the drive to the hotel would sustain them until lunch arrived.  The waitstaff at The Capitol Grille does not feel any need for harried scurrying about, so we did wait quite some time for our food, but we entertained ourselves with Matchbox cars and conversation.

Our food arrived, all but Max's fries.  Max declared his mac and cheese the best he had ever eaten.  Simmy seemed to be enjoying his sandwich.  I had a pimiento cheese with fried green tomatoes and arugula sandwich and it was deeeeeelicious!!!   Finally, Max's fries arrive, and I am not exaggerating when I say they brought him at least 4 potatoes worth of fries.

I had promised them dessert if they behaved well.  I assured them that the grace-driven treat they got yesterday would not be repeated today.  Dessert would have to be earned.  They did brilliantly.  So, Simeon asked our waiter for a dessert menu.  He only brought one and handed it to me, so I read aloud the desserts offered.  Sim wanted cheesecake and I told him that they did not have cheesecake..."they have chocolate cake, carrot cake, coconut cake, peach cobbler, and ice cream." When the waiter came to take our order, Max asked for ice cream.  The waiter shared the kinds they have, "chocolate, vanilla cheesecake..."  Max ordered chocolate and Sim ordered the vanilla cheesecake.  He did not discover that it was an ice cream flavor until they brought the fancy ice cream spoons and laid them at each place.  Simmy immediately asked why they gave him a spoon for cheesecake.  I explained that, "they do not have cheesecake."  "But, I ordered vanilla cheesecake," he said.  I said, "no, you ordered vanilla cheesecake ice cream."  His face fell.  So, being the strict disciplinarian that I am, I asked, "do you want a piece of coconut, carrot, or chocolate cake?"  He ordered coconut.

In the meantime, one boy had to go to the bathroom.  I was having flashbacks to our marathon potty session yesterday.  I delicately asked if that might be the case today, and he assured me that probably it would be.  Oh, shoot.  So off to the bathroom we go, but much to my surprise and delight, the potential marathon session was a false alarm and we got out of there in record time.  Arriving back at our table, we found a piece of coconut cake that could easily feed an entire moderately-sized family.  He ate maybe 3 bites, dug out the middle to make it look like an alligator and so, we got a to-go box.

Also, just as an aside, root beer makes little boys burp and have hiccups.  Most of those were quietly expelled, while a few of them were not.  I am a loud hiccupper, myself, so I could not be terribly dismayed.  Besides, we had been there an hour and forty minutes, so we had pretty well stretched ourselves as far as possible.  Thus, we went to the empty veranda in the hotel and ran laps before leaving.

Walking to the library, we passed the park where so many homeless are resting.  Simmy asked if I felt sorry for the person sleeping on the cardboard and I assured him that I did.  Max said that next time we came back to town he was going to give that person his piggy bank.  So sweet. We walked back to the hotel to get our to-go boxes which they kept refrigerated for us, and to pick up our car where we had taken advantage of the valet parking rounded out our time in downtown.  I handed each boy a few one dollar bills to tip the valet and after a small scuffle in the car as to who was to sit in which IDENTICAL car seat, we went on our way.  3:00 pick-up time.  The house is quiet, and a huge mess.

Today was a much less tiring and stressful day.  They boys did 900 times better than I was expecting yesterday at this time.  I am having a hard time thinking of them being in school all day every day next week.  Why can't school start after Labor Day like it did when we were still sane in this country?  I will miss them.  I'm pretty sure by tomorrow I'll be weepy over our last day...or I will be weepy because I am desperate for them go just go home.  Either way, it has been a good, good summer, and I still contend, that being a Mellie is the best life gig!