Mr. L. is an easy going, easy-to-live-with kind of guy eleven months of the year. He can, however, make watching NCAA March Madness an experience in frustration. You see, he is convinced he is a jinx. Personally, I think this over-inflated view of his powers to control the outcome of a basketball game from his den, is quite befuddling. He is not amused by my teasing and, actually, I believe, is quite terrified by his powers for evil.
This is not a new phenomenon in his life. When we married, I became a University of Kentucky fan because, well, the Bible tells me to submit to my husband and my loyalty to any other team would not have been a good display of my wifely submission. So, a UK fan I became. The problem is, I really don't get to watch UK play ball because Mr. L. is a jinx. Because of his jinxing powers, I only get to watch 30 seconds of a game every 12 minutes. Short bouts of viewing the game seems to neutralize the jinx power somewhat. Oh, and he has equally strong powers over the radio waves as well. Yep, you guessed it, 30 seconds of listening every 12 minutes.
When I first observed this behavior, I was a newlywed questioning the decision I had made marrying this man. I found his behavior shocking. The first TV we owned was a 4 inch screen. No, I am not kidding. Four inches of screen for your viewing pleasure. It was a fancy TV for it was also a radio and an alarm clock. Kids today just don't know what they are missing with their 40 inch screens. The only way we could watch the TV together was to lie in bed with it balanced on Mr. L's chest. Please do not assume I exaggerate for the sake of a story. This is the honest truth. Of course, this was before these days when we each need three pairs of glasses of different strengths and a scorecard as to what pair to wear when. This TV worked perfectly fine, until March Madness. On the occasions that UK was playing in the tournament, we went to Charles and Phyllis Trevathan's house, our beloved mentors, and watched the game there. The truth is, I could have just stayed home and put the TV on my own chest and watched the game by myself because Mr. L. spent major parts of the games hiding in the Trevathan's bathroom only to stick his head out every 12 minutes to check on the score. Truly, I kid you not.
A few years later, when we had children, it seems that one particular game (I'm certain he could tell you which game and the final score) Mr. L. laid very still on our living room floor with a lucky half dollar on his chest. UK won, a game possibly one they were not expected to win, so from that day forward, he laid on the floor with his lucky half dollar, children climbing on him, me stepping over him. Panic ensued if the half dollar was misplaced.
On the occasions when I express a desire to just watch the game, please, he leaves the house to drive around or sit at Sonic only to listen long enough to hear the score and then 12 minutes later to check again. If he is just too tired to leave, he will go to the other end of the house and warn me not to make any sounds that might indicate what is happening in the game until he shouts for an update on the score. I have stuffed a pillow in my mouth on several occasions in order to comply. Unless Kentucky is ahead by 77 with less than 2 minutes left in the game, the jinx is still in play.
Going to the actual game is much easier. Mr. L., except on the rarest of occasions (usually inappropriate hysterical laughter), is able to control his outward behavior when in public. He is the model of decorum at a game. Now, of course, he is likely to leave if Kentucky falls behind, well, because, of course it is his fault they are losing. It could not possibly be because the team cannot hit their free-throws, or get the ball inbounds, or stop fouling. It's Mr. L's fault! Oh, if he could only harness this power and use it for good. He still is better off than his poor father who once spent an entire game in the bathroom because of a nervous stomach during a tournament game between Auburn (think Charles Barkley ~ we're getting OLD) and UK . Here we had another fan who believed that somehow he was responsible for the outcome of a game. Mr. Switzer also almost got in a fist fight with an Indiana fan who was waving a big flag that periodically came very close to his face. I was there at that game in Dayton, Ohio, and I was most fearful there was to be a fracas.
As the years have gone by, I have come to accept Mr. L.'s eccentricities. He is extremely gracious in accepting mine. I will say it seems uncanny that he can jinx the Cubs, the Titans, the Predators and any other team in any other sport in which he states a preference as to who wins. It is this very reason that Duke is not in the Final 4 this year ~ he refused to watch the game. He despises Duke. UK fans just cannot get past Christian Laettner's last second winning shot in 1992! The world thinks Kentucky lost because of that shot, but we know, yes we know, Mr. L., the jinx, is the reason. We still haven't gotten over it.
Perhaps, it is just coincidence, but I will say that I have become a bit of a believer in Mr. L.'s ability to jinx teams. If I can just get him not to say that he is for Loyola of Chicago in the next four days, the Cinderella team just might have a chance. I am hoping the Switzer jinx is not as strong as Sister Jean's prayers.
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