Angry

I just did something I never recall ever having done before.  I stood in my house and screamed to the tops of my lungs out of sheer anger and frustration.  No, it didn't help.  Now, I actually have a headache from screaming, and I realized afterwards that 2 windows were open in my house, so I am expecting the police to arrive any moment ~ just kidding, I think.

If you don't know me, let me tell you that I am not inclined toward histrionics.  Not even a little bit.  Well, that might not be totally true, as I do have a lot of drama that goes on in my imagination, but outward exhibitions of drama not on a stage are abhorrent to me.  I mean, if you want to be all over the top, that's your right and I'll still love you, but I am highly unlikely to be even moderately moved by your performance.  Perhaps, that is a flaw in my character.

So, here I am, red-in-the-face-pressure-in-the-chest angry.  My frustration comes in the knowledge that any comment I made would not be welcomed and would, perhaps, exacerbate the problem.  So, what does a person do?  I don't know.  I wish I did. Trust me, if I knew, I would do it.

People my age, I always thought, were supposed to be wise and capable of speaking good things into any situation.  Maybe others are, but, it seems I am not.  Actually, and I'm not proud of this, my first inclination was to hit somebody upside the head.  I won't.  With my orthopedic prowess, I might smack somebody and end up breaking some bone of my own.  Besides, I don't hit people.  I think hitting people is stupid.  I think stupid people hit people.  So, if you care, I think you're stupid if you hit people.

Most of my blogs are good indication of my Enneagram 9ness.  If you're not familiar with the Enneagram, that previous sentence sounds as if it is from a foreign language.  Well, let me just tell you that 9s are The Peacemakers or Mediators.  We nines can keep our mouths shut because by opening them we might cause conflict and conflict is right next to spreading the bubonic plague as far as desirable behaviors go.  So, for the most part,I try to write sweet, cheerful blogs so everybody will be pleased with what they read in order to feel all warm and cozy.

But this one is a personal catharsis. So, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!

Oh, and please know, I am not angry at Mr. L, just in case you wondered.  Only a whack job would get mad at that man.