This life is hard. I want to get that out of the way. Sometimes it is harder than others. This has been a hard few weeks. But, that is life.
Yesterday, I stopped at the market to get vegetables. I checked my phone for the first time since early morning. There I saw a message from my friend, Becky, that her mama had passed away on Sunday evening. My first thought was how sad for Becky, her sisters and Unca Dan. My next thought was how do I tell my mother. I am becoming the bearer of sad news. Mom had already heard about Mrs. Leech, and had enjoyed a conversation with Becky's daddy, discussing old times and how they are two of only three left of an original group of five very close couples.
Mrs. Leech was like a second mother to me in many ways. There were periods of my life when I spent about as much time at her house as at my own. At Unca Dan's birthday in December, I blogged about the Leeches, and how they influenced my life. This, is just a brief remembrance of Mrs. Leech.
One of the things about her that I remember well, is how she would awaken us in the mornings. I came from a tradition of no jokes when it was time to get up. Mom came into our rooms, big cheerful smile on her face, and determination in her stride. She went directly to the window, grabbed the bottom of the shade, gave a jerk, and those shades went up like a shot. She would exclaim, "wake up, it is a beautiful mo'ning." Mrs. Leech had a different approach. She would come in, pat us on the back, kiss Becky on the cheek and quietly encourage us to wake up. That was a pleasant puzzle to me. One was not better than the other, they were just different.
Maybe because she was not my mother, I remember her as always being calm, and rarely managing us. I know that I felt very much loved and welcomed in her home. The Leech household was different than mine in that we were a little boy heavy and they were, with the exception of Unca Dan, all girls. That just creates a different dynamic.
Mrs. Leech was a woman who did not talk about other people. She had a great generosity of spirit. She saw the best, and was quick to offer extra measures of grace where it was most needed. She loved her family; husband, daughters, grandchildren, and recently a great grandchild. She leaves a legacy of dignity and grace. She was not a woman who created drama.
Her family was from Orlinda, Tennessee. I had some really wonderful days spent in Orlinda with Becky. I truly do not think that little town even had a stoplight at the time. The Brewers had a feather mattress that I thought was the most heavenly place to lay my head. That might be why I am so comforted by my Fluffo mattress to this very day. They had a round gas tank in their yard. I guess it was propane to heat the house. I am not sure, but it was a fascination to me. I sort of halfway expected it to blow up at any time. In Orlinda, Tennessee in the 50's and 60's, little girls could walk to town, by themselves, and never feel afraid.
Mrs. Leech could tolerate whining, something my parents did not enjoy and something in which I became quite the expert as a young child. What Mrs. Leech would not tolerate was a sassy mouth. Her girls knew what was acceptable and what was not, and a smart mouth was not.
There are wonderful fond memories of summer days spent at Bluegrass Country Club with homemade pimiento cheese sandwiches and chips eaten at picnic tables in the shade of mighty hackberry trees. Can hackberry trees be mighty? Well, they were to us, and their shade most welcome on a hot July day. I remember last days of school and shopping trips that followed. I was with her when we picked up my first pair of glasses. She did not approve of her daughters calling me the "human trashcan" when we went to Florida, but they were sort of right, those little tiny, dainty girls. I never heard a cross word between her and Unca Dan.
I used to love when my mother would have the annual Christmas dinner at our house for those five couples. I even remember dropping in to say hi when I was in college. Mom would work to get the house decorated, the front door wreath always a work of art. The lights would be dim when her guests arrived, candles burning. Delicious food, not catered, but lovingly prepared, fragranced the house. The guests and the hosts dressed up. Jeans were not acceptable, nor even considered. In fact, at that time, I am fairly certain none of those women even owned a pair of jeans. Mrs. Leech was always in that group; always complimentary; always expressing gratitude.
As recently as in the last five years or so, Mrs. Leech and I would on a sort of regular basis communicate. She, like I, was the "cruise director" of the senior citizen group at her church. My group enjoyed varied activities. Mrs. Leech's group wanted to go eat. She and I would share special places that each of our groups enjoyed. I liked having that bond with her.
She was beautiful to me. She had exceptional posture. Is that a weird thing to notice about someone? Although she was not a particularly tall woman, she had a dignified and regal bearing tempered with extreme kindness. When one talked to her, she listened and would often interject a "yeah, yeah." Be sure when you read that "yeah" that it has about four syllables. Mrs. Leech had no single syllable words in her vocabulary. Such a Southern lady in every way.
I will miss knowing that she walks this earth. She had a way of making me feel loved, accepted, and safe when I was with her. I never felt as though I was in her way ~ well, there was that one time that she called Mom to come get me, but I had been most unkind as to laugh at Becky when she fell. It was that Styrofoam cooler on her head that I have mentioned in multiple blogs. I bet Becky wishes I would forget that!! Her daughters will miss her, but she passed to them a deep and abiding faith which will sustain them as they begin to navigate this new life without her. Unca Dan, who held her hand and sang hymns to her as she slipped the bonds of this earth, will tap into his faith as well. They will find joy in each day because that is exactly what she would want for them.
How wonderfully fortunate I am to have her loveliness woven into the tapestry of my life. It is with great gratitude that I think of the time that her walk and mine intersected in this leg of our eternal journey. As with my brother, Mike, I believe she is resting well and enjoying great reunions.
For today, I wish you not be spared moments of sadness for they are born of great love and joy, I wish you comfort in your sadness, and I wish you
blessings
No comments:
Post a Comment