This summer I buy curtains for the boys' room. This is the beginning of the oh-so-slow revamping of the room. Two of the windows are, by my measurements, about 1000"x2000." Suffice it to say they are really big. One is in the bedroom and the other is right smack dab in the bathroom; the bathroom Mr. L uses. (As an aside, want to have a glorious marriage? I highly recommend separate bathrooms if at all possible.) There is also a smaller window in the bedroom that if the neighbors look down the hill they are afforded a view right into the room. Why they would be interested in that is beyond me, but there is no accounting for others' tastes. So, it seems necessary to cover these windows at certain times.
Over the 26 years we have lived in this house, these windows have had various different coverings, my favorite being Roman shades my friend, Linda Milliken, made. She knows how to measure. I get my curtains home, and it seems that my windows are not actually 2000" long, so I have to hem the curtains. This seems much easier than somehow adjusting the windows. I get out my trusty measuring tools, carefully measure the fabric, cut off the excess, hand-stitch them, and voila! What?!? No pair of curtains are the same length...I mean, pretty much not even close.
When one has a life motto of "good enough is good enough" and also received an extra dose of jerry-rigging, pulling the curtains back with the tabs, adjusting a little here and a little there proves to be satisfactory. I mean nobody is going to notice...unless they can see. (The other day I saw a sign on a business. It said, "we serve the deaf, hard of hearing, and hearing communities." Seems that about covers everybody. But, I digress.) So, the curtains are up and when Mr. L needs the windows covered, I have shown him how to undo one side, pull it over to the other, and use a paper clip to hold it there. Jerry-rigging at its best.
This arrangement works well, until we discover that we are going to have overnight guests. It is debated as to whether to put them in the master bedroom or not, but that room has a definite breach of privacy with a screen door on it as well as the adjoining bathroom. Also, only about 1/3 of each window is covered. This is my attempt at a little beach cottage in landlocked Nashville.
I decide to hang them myself. (Tip number two - if you want a glorious marriage, never, I mean never hang roller shades together). I can not find my power drill, so I hammer a nail into the window casing to make a pilot hole. This works wonderfully, I assure you. I use my little short Phillips head screw driver to get the brackets up on the first big window, and voila! The shade is about 1/8 inch too short. I think I might cry, seriously. (Now, please know that I realize this is definitely a first world problem, and hardly worthy of tears, but I was so frustrated).
What to do, what to do? It seems that a shim is in order. What to use, what to use? Oh, I have a bunch of popsicle sticks that I am using to make beds for the centerpieces on Simeon's pajama birthday party (MP thought I was using popsicle sticks to make actual twin beds for the boys, as I have been on the lookout for them - even I cannot jerry rig real beds out of popsicle sticks). I figure popsicle sticks will make perfect shims, and I am right. But, screwing and unscrewing those tiny little screws by hand and hammering pilot holes is creating issues with my aging hands, but one shade is up, and I am quite proud.
I call my daughter and ask if I can use their power drill, and they graciously send me a drill and a power screw driver that has an amazing amount of torque. Next day, I tackle the last two shades. This should be so very simple, now that I have the proper tools, and my neatly trimmed popsicle stick shims. I decide to work on the smaller window first as it is at the most difficult angle. I screw in the brackets. What, what is this on the end of the power screwdriver - the head of one of the screws. Nothing to be done. The screw is firmly set in the window casing with no way to get it out. Now my little bracket on that side is swinging back and forth. That can't be good. But, good enough is good enough, so I hang the shade. It stays put. However, it will not come down, which seriously defeats the purpose. I work on it and work on it, until I spring it, and now it won't go up.
In my efforts to teach the boys proper "swear" words (it is my opinion everybody needs a few) we say things like "man oh manoshevitz," "goodnight nurse," "are you kidding me?," "that's no good," and "for Pete's sake." Quite the repertoire. I use them all up on that sprung, halfway attached bracket shade.
Not to be discouraged, however, I decide to tackle the big window in the bathroom. This is the crucial one. I very calmly and patiently stand on the chair (don't tell Mr. L, please), drill my pilot holes, cut my shims, line up the drilled holes on the shims, window casing and brackets, use the power screwdriver to drive the screws in and ARE YOU KIDDING ME...the head of one of those screws is maliciously attached to the screwdriver. I am having to dip deeper into my bag of swear words and come up with a few more suitable to the situation, which I will not share here. Use your imagination. But, the shade is up. All three shades up. Two of which work. Two out of three - not so bad.
This saga is not complete, however. The next day after Mr. L. leaves for work, I raise the big shade in the bedroom, flip off the one on the small window for not cooperating, raise the one in the bathroom which promptly falls off and hits me in the head. More "suitable" words. The problem, it seems is the only-one-side-attached bracket. Aaaaaaaaargh!!! I have to stop and think, but I figure Super Glue could be my friend. This is bold for me because several years ago in my efforts of jerry-rigging knobs on a kitchen drawer, I super glued the knob to my fingers and had to drive to the hardware store with it stuck there to buy a solvent to get it off. THAT is not embarrassing, and it instills an extreme fear of Super Glue. But, dadgum, I am going to get that shade to stay. I Super Glue the bracket to the shim, and am happy to report it is now working - as if you could possibly care after this ridiculously long diatribe.
I am not quite finished, however. The thing I am most proud of in this little life drama, is the shade pulls I made out of fan pulls and shade handles. I actually drilled by hand with a cup hook and a jack-o-lantern cutting tool, perfect little holes in which the chain fits perfectly. Yep, I am most proud.
blessings
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