Recently, I heard the story of a grandmother whose two teenage grandsons dropped by, spur of the moment, to ask her to go to dinner. She said she had already eaten. She did not go. That story got me to thinking about how often what seems to be the main thing is not the thing at all. Those boys stopping by to invite their grandmother to dinner had nothing to do with food. It had everything to do with being together. My first instinct was to be angry at her. My second, was to feel badly for her. She missed a wonderful opportunity to spend time in the presence of young people...young people who were seeking her out. I wonder if she regretted her decision after they left. I do not wish her regrets, but I do wish her to revisit that decision. I hope next time she will go, and make a sweet memory for her grandsons and herself. And, I hope she pays for dinner.
That got me to thinking about a time when a man I know planned a trip for his dad to Chicago to see the Cubs play. Now, this dad was a huge Cubs fan, and had passed that insanity on to his son. The father was aging. He was not ill, but he was aging, and the son felt the need to do something nice for his dad, and to spend time with him. The son planned everything. He was paying for it all - travel, lodging, food, tickets to the game at Wrigley Field. Everything was set. A couple days before the grand adventure, the father called his son to say that the weather forecast predicted rain in Chicago, and the game would probably be rained out so he was not going to go. You see, the thing was not the game. The thing was spending time with a son who planned a trip around his father's interests. That was the thing. As it turned out, it was a beautiful day in Chicago, the game did not get rained out, the Cubs won (a red letter day any way you look at it), and those tickets went unused. That father is gone now. He missed his opportunity. I wonder if he ever regretted his decision.
If you read this blog, you are aware that I often travel to the beach with two friends. We go different times of the year. I have had people say, "aren't you afraid it will be cold in November" or "the weather might not be good" or "it rains a lot there in August." My reply is always, "we don't care." While we all love the beach, the thing is not the beach. The thing is being in each other's company. Nice weather is great, but one of our most fun trips was when tropical storm Isabelle (I think) hit Gulf Shores. It was awesome, and I mean that not in the present day vernacular but in the Webster definition of "inspiring a mixed feeling of reverence and fear." Awesome!!!
Well, let me say, I have certainly been guilty many times in my life of thinking the thing was the thing when indeed it was not. As I age, however, I try to pay attention, and see, what I learned in mediation classes, is "below the line." Below the line is where you will find the thing that is the thing.
A note to Simeon and Max - do not ever come by my house and invite me to do anything or go anywhere if you do not want me. If I ever say to you, "I have already eaten," immediately call 911 for I am very, very ill.
For today, I wish you the wisdom to recognize that thing that is the thing, and I wish you
blessings
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