This world is fraught with danger, and I am not talking about weapons of mass destruction...well, yes, I am, but not the kind that have been in the news. Keeping one-year-old boys has newly opened my eyes to the perils of this life. As a grandmother, dangers loom much larger than they did as a parent.
The kitchen sink is clogged. A cup of soda down the drain followed by vinegar (I just really love the results of that combination) with a chaser of boiling water was what was needed. Oh, wait. If I boil water on the stove, one of the boys might somehow figure out how to open the gate, or worse, they could be in cahoots and somehow help each other get over and what if I don't hear them and they get underfoot and I spill scalding water on them? Never mind, the sink will have to remain clogged.
Who knew a kid's rocking chair could be such a hazard? A couple weeks ago, while Fizzie sat right beside him, Max flipped the chair over, hit the floor found himself trapped underneath, and let out a cry that would have waken the dead. Telling him to "shake it off" was not going to be helpful. The same chair yesterday, whacked Simeon in the head as he rocked. Yep, the dead were roused yet again.
And, then there are the toys. Who makes these things with buttons that could fall off, or hair that somehow could get tangled in their teeth and pull them out. How can such a tiny mouth hold an entire plastic Easter egg? Don't the makers of bubbles know that little eyes can be burned by bubble soap? Maybe, I will make some with baby shampoo, but, no wait, what exactly is Polyquaternium-10? That can't be good for a baby. Forget the bubbles.
Why is the drawer in the table upon which the TV sits such a fascination? Well, they are boys, and that is where the remotes are, but there are batteries in the remotes, and what if they think they are candy and eat them,and what if they remain in cahoots after attempts to breach kitchen security by crashing the gate and decide to rock the TV table turning it and the TV over on them? Maybe I will block the TV with the rocking chairs, but they could climb on those like they do on the table by the sofa and then there will be real trouble. I will just sit here and not take my eye off them.
Simeon and I took a walk this morning I am certain he was eyeing the drainage pipes going under the driveways. We had a talk about never, never, ever crawling through those, and he will never, never, ever hear the tales of his Mellie and her siblings and friends doing such crazy things growing up. Sometimes hiding in the drainage pipes under the Kornmeyer's drive was the only way to get away. But, never, never, ever are Simeon and Max to know such a thing.
Shelves are tethered, tables and a birdcage stand are moved to a locked room before the boys arrive. I did not think of the birdcage stand until Simmie pulled it over on himself yesterday. He did not cry so, oh, dear why isn't he crying? Wonder if he has a concussion. Well, no, he got right up, he seems fine, who would have thought he would even find it something worthy of notice, how did he not break the glass boboches on the little chandelier hanging on the birdcage stand, and who hangs a chandelier on a birdcage stand anyway, and how did he manage to break every one of the turquoise candles in the chandelier, oh, well, he seems fine, better move that thing into a locked room. What? Now he has knocked himself in the head with the little plate stand in the hallway!! Okay, into a locked room it goes too.
So, life is full of peril, especially if you happen to be the grandmother to two one-year-old boys. Did you know there is a website entitled the "Hidden Dangers of Yogurt?" I will not even mention all the possibilities for harm the wooden back scratcher carries. Yep, that locked room is really filling up.
For today, I wish you the company of one-year-olds, safety, and I wish you
Blessings
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