There is noise in my head. It is the sound of 1000 dripping faucets. It is the sound of 10,000 popping knuckles. It comes from a million pin pricks of pain inflicted on those I love and those they love. It is the loss of a devoted wife, a cherished husband, a beloved pet. It is sorrow and frustration swirled together in an eddy of confusion for those who seem to be clueless about the very essence of who they are...or am I the clueless one? Perhaps, that reality is what is causing the noise.
There is a noise in my head. It is the sound of fingernails scratching on a blackboard. It is the sound of a dentist's drill. It comes this time of year. It does not come every year, but when it does, it is this time of year. It is born of bad choices repeated in expectation of a different result. Now, what is that well-known definition of insanity? The bad choices that are clanging in my head are not all mine, but I must accept the ones that are; more importantly, I must accept that the ones not mine, are not mine to fix.
There is a noise in my head. It is the sound of the "music" blaring from the MAC cosmetic counter in Macy's. It is the sound of a cell phone ringing at church. Its origins come from having eyes that will not see; of witnessing the lost vision in others. It is the futility of depending on trite sayings and quotations to make sense of this life. It rises from not being able to meet needs, this noise in my head. It comes from the unintended "laying on of guilt." It comes from trying to let that guilt stay where it was set down instead of dragging it around in virulent resentment.
There is a noise in my head. It is when the noise crescendos that I can actually see myself sitting at Jesus's feet with his hand resting lightly on my head. It is time "to be still and know." Perhaps, soon the noise will abate, or will become as a soft rain shower, or the delicate crunching of gravel, or the trill of birdsong early on a spring morning, or the gentle lapping of waves on the shore. I will wait. I will be still. I will learn to find the message in the noise.
For today, I wish you blessings.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Fifty Years
Last week, I was communicating with my friend Judy, via email. In the course of our correspondence, she mentioned that this is the year she and her husband, Clark, celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Of course, they will be celebrating all year, which is completely appropriate for such a blessed life milestone. They are not celebrating just 50 years together, they are celebrating 50 years of a wonderful life together filled with love and family and friends and fun.....and hurt, for no one lives long without hurt.
Early in their marriage, an unexpected event occured; a daughter born with spina bifida. They vowed to each other that because the world would hurt them enough, they would never ever do anything to hurt each other. My observations would tell me that they both took that vow seriously. I know that in the midst of the uncertainty of having a baby with multiple physical issues, they did not realize quite what a joy and blessing that child would prove to be for them. She is a grown woman now, with a life filled with love and family and friends and fun...I think I see a pattern here. She has excellent role models. She is an excellent role model.
So, here goes....some random memories with and lessons learned from my dear friends Clark and Judy. Happy Anniversary you two lovebirds. It's a wonderful life, indeed.
Anticipation...the first phase of all life's events. Clark lives in anticipation...a lot.
Gatlinburg 10K...we all got shirts...we all had our picture made at the start line...if memory serves, Mr. Lincoln is the only one who ran
Daily photo journal...recently Clark made the statement that he tried his hand at one from observing my efforts...he's confused...he did it first
Drama....not obnoxious life-is-just-too-much-for-me drama...actual drama. Judy was a drama major in college....and a Kids on the Block puppeteer for years.
Delicious Meals....I have had many at their home...white chili, crepes, special salads, yummy desserts etc...always delicious, always served graciously
Letters on the fridge....often when guests arrive, a welcome is spelled out nicely on their refrigerator with magnetic letters
Hikes....lots and lots of hikes, some spent trying to find the UniBomber...for the reward, I think
Lawn mowing poetry...I'll not elaborate on this one.
"Just a little happy"....what Judy calls a hostess gift.
Gifts...they are the only people I know who are equally thrilled with the gift of a shell picked up on the beach, or a marble made in a lampwork class as they are by some expensive offering
Paintings...Clark and Judy collect art, and they display with great enthusiasm the most humble piece done by a nobody to work done by internationally known artists
Barnabas...we were once in a small group together called the Barnabas Group...striving to be encouragers...Clark and Judy are the original Barnabases...well, no, I guess Barnabas was the original, but they have taken encouragement to a very high level
Cars...Clark loves cars
Home...their home is uniquely them...no furniture store displays here...chimes in the livingroom, a sand zen pendulum thingy, pictures galore, glass eggs, pillows made from family heirloom fur coats...get the picture...uniquely them
Where's Gumby??
Understanding...once when Mr. Lincoln, Marshall, Sheri and I spent a weekend at their house in Gatlinburg, we switched out all their family photos with pictures of us. We did not tell them, of course, and just waited for them to notice the next time they went. They were very understanding...especially of the pic of Mr. Lincoln in the Jacuzzi.
Clark's birthday at Greer Stadium...thank goodness they did not make him dance with a cheerleader on top of the dugout
Wildflowers....they know the names of them all, and appreciate every tiny delicate feature
Clark vomiting... by the side of the road on a group trip to Lexington...poor Clark
Condemnation of Coca Cola products...Pepsi all the way now...drat that "original" recipe
Support....sitting quietly beside me during church, asking no questions, offering no platitudes on the morning before my brother's funeral service
James Bond....the James Bond hike....we were amazing!!!
Renaissance....Clark and Judy (I won't hit everything, I'm sure) between them have collected stamps, pop up books, artwork, religious icons, excelled at calligraphy, writing, knitting, cooking, painting, card making, and that doesn't mention the collection of people in their lives
More understanding....on a sunny day, they just kindly place something to block the solar battery powering chimes on the coffee table....those things can drive you crazy
Caramel apples...always willing to drive into town for a caramel apple...once Clark even offered to pay the like $50.00 for me to mail an apple to MP at college...she did not get one that year
Quotes....I think they may have introduced Mr. Lincoln and me to the joy of a good quotation...I do know that we were with them when we bought a copy of Mark Twain's quote: "Always do right. It will gratify some and astonish the rest." Love that!
Books...they are lovers of books...all kinds...voracious readers...have introduced me to several books I have thoroughly enjoyed
Books...they get that they should never loan a book to me
Spearhead...when Mr. Lincoln lost his job several years ago, they spearheaded an effort to help us financially so we would not have to sell our house...I think they think they did that anonymously...we know
Thoughtful....they invited us to dinner, and for personal reasons felt we could not leave our house...so they brought dinner to us
Oops...on another note, I once invited them to a charity dinner, they declined, then about a week before the dinner, I got a call from them inviting us to a dinner party at their house on the same night. Come to find out, a good number of their invitees had been my invitees for the charity dinner. Gotta love it.
Redeemed....A pretty big check came from them and the other guests at their party who blew off the charity dinner....I mean, seriously,who would rather have a quiet gourmet dinner at Clark and Judy's instead of catfish cooked in mass quantities served with 100's of others at the fairgrounds?
All Aboard....the Mexican Train
Grandparenting...Clark was a little reticent at first about taking on this role in life...I mean what if the baby calls them MooMoo and PooPoo? They are Mimi and B. They are wonderful grandparents! I strive to emulate them.
Mining...B. would "salt a mine" in his backyard for his grandson, Jackson, and they would go out and discover hidden treasure together. That grandson is 14 now, and still, I imagine his B. is one of his very best friends.
Stellar....one of Judy's favorite words, and she finds the stellar in everything.
For Whom the Bell Tolls...:-)
The Talented Mr. Ripley...sorry, Clark, I still don't get it.
Countless meals in homes or in restaurants, confidences shared, acceptance extended, laughs galore, small gifts exchanged, causes supported, kindnesses expressed, examples set, little email chats both long and short. Too many blessings for time and feeble mind to recall. Thank you, Clark and Judy for living out Kingdom Life, and for letting us be garnered into your fold of graciousness. I wish you a wonderful year of celebration.
For everyone else who might be reading this, I wish you good friends whose lives are carried within your own, and I wish you
blessings
Early in their marriage, an unexpected event occured; a daughter born with spina bifida. They vowed to each other that because the world would hurt them enough, they would never ever do anything to hurt each other. My observations would tell me that they both took that vow seriously. I know that in the midst of the uncertainty of having a baby with multiple physical issues, they did not realize quite what a joy and blessing that child would prove to be for them. She is a grown woman now, with a life filled with love and family and friends and fun...I think I see a pattern here. She has excellent role models. She is an excellent role model.
So, here goes....some random memories with and lessons learned from my dear friends Clark and Judy. Happy Anniversary you two lovebirds. It's a wonderful life, indeed.
Anticipation...the first phase of all life's events. Clark lives in anticipation...a lot.
Gatlinburg 10K...we all got shirts...we all had our picture made at the start line...if memory serves, Mr. Lincoln is the only one who ran
Daily photo journal...recently Clark made the statement that he tried his hand at one from observing my efforts...he's confused...he did it first
Drama....not obnoxious life-is-just-too-much-for-me drama...actual drama. Judy was a drama major in college....and a Kids on the Block puppeteer for years.
Delicious Meals....I have had many at their home...white chili, crepes, special salads, yummy desserts etc...always delicious, always served graciously
Letters on the fridge....often when guests arrive, a welcome is spelled out nicely on their refrigerator with magnetic letters
Hikes....lots and lots of hikes, some spent trying to find the UniBomber...for the reward, I think
Lawn mowing poetry...I'll not elaborate on this one.
"Just a little happy"....what Judy calls a hostess gift.
Gifts...they are the only people I know who are equally thrilled with the gift of a shell picked up on the beach, or a marble made in a lampwork class as they are by some expensive offering
Paintings...Clark and Judy collect art, and they display with great enthusiasm the most humble piece done by a nobody to work done by internationally known artists
Barnabas...we were once in a small group together called the Barnabas Group...striving to be encouragers...Clark and Judy are the original Barnabases...well, no, I guess Barnabas was the original, but they have taken encouragement to a very high level
Cars...Clark loves cars
Home...their home is uniquely them...no furniture store displays here...chimes in the livingroom, a sand zen pendulum thingy, pictures galore, glass eggs, pillows made from family heirloom fur coats...get the picture...uniquely them
Where's Gumby??
Understanding...once when Mr. Lincoln, Marshall, Sheri and I spent a weekend at their house in Gatlinburg, we switched out all their family photos with pictures of us. We did not tell them, of course, and just waited for them to notice the next time they went. They were very understanding...especially of the pic of Mr. Lincoln in the Jacuzzi.
Clark's birthday at Greer Stadium...thank goodness they did not make him dance with a cheerleader on top of the dugout
Wildflowers....they know the names of them all, and appreciate every tiny delicate feature
Clark vomiting... by the side of the road on a group trip to Lexington...poor Clark
Condemnation of Coca Cola products...Pepsi all the way now...drat that "original" recipe
Support....sitting quietly beside me during church, asking no questions, offering no platitudes on the morning before my brother's funeral service
James Bond....the James Bond hike....we were amazing!!!
Renaissance....Clark and Judy (I won't hit everything, I'm sure) between them have collected stamps, pop up books, artwork, religious icons, excelled at calligraphy, writing, knitting, cooking, painting, card making, and that doesn't mention the collection of people in their lives
More understanding....on a sunny day, they just kindly place something to block the solar battery powering chimes on the coffee table....those things can drive you crazy
Caramel apples...always willing to drive into town for a caramel apple...once Clark even offered to pay the like $50.00 for me to mail an apple to MP at college...she did not get one that year
Quotes....I think they may have introduced Mr. Lincoln and me to the joy of a good quotation...I do know that we were with them when we bought a copy of Mark Twain's quote: "Always do right. It will gratify some and astonish the rest." Love that!
Books...they are lovers of books...all kinds...voracious readers...have introduced me to several books I have thoroughly enjoyed
Books...they get that they should never loan a book to me
Spearhead...when Mr. Lincoln lost his job several years ago, they spearheaded an effort to help us financially so we would not have to sell our house...I think they think they did that anonymously...we know
Thoughtful....they invited us to dinner, and for personal reasons felt we could not leave our house...so they brought dinner to us
Oops...on another note, I once invited them to a charity dinner, they declined, then about a week before the dinner, I got a call from them inviting us to a dinner party at their house on the same night. Come to find out, a good number of their invitees had been my invitees for the charity dinner. Gotta love it.
Redeemed....A pretty big check came from them and the other guests at their party who blew off the charity dinner....I mean, seriously,who would rather have a quiet gourmet dinner at Clark and Judy's instead of catfish cooked in mass quantities served with 100's of others at the fairgrounds?
All Aboard....the Mexican Train
Grandparenting...Clark was a little reticent at first about taking on this role in life...I mean what if the baby calls them MooMoo and PooPoo? They are Mimi and B. They are wonderful grandparents! I strive to emulate them.
Mining...B. would "salt a mine" in his backyard for his grandson, Jackson, and they would go out and discover hidden treasure together. That grandson is 14 now, and still, I imagine his B. is one of his very best friends.
Stellar....one of Judy's favorite words, and she finds the stellar in everything.
For Whom the Bell Tolls...:-)
The Talented Mr. Ripley...sorry, Clark, I still don't get it.
Countless meals in homes or in restaurants, confidences shared, acceptance extended, laughs galore, small gifts exchanged, causes supported, kindnesses expressed, examples set, little email chats both long and short. Too many blessings for time and feeble mind to recall. Thank you, Clark and Judy for living out Kingdom Life, and for letting us be garnered into your fold of graciousness. I wish you a wonderful year of celebration.
For everyone else who might be reading this, I wish you good friends whose lives are carried within your own, and I wish you
blessings
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