Bedsheets are a lot like life. Have you ever tried to fold a fitted bedsheet? It is virtually impossible to do it neatly. Well, probably Martha Stewart could do it neatly, but for us mere mortals, it is virtually impossible. I have tried many different ways, but always, I end up just cramming the corners into the middle and trying to smooth the outside so it looks nice when placed in the linen closet.
Sometimes, I think that is what my life is....a bungled mess on the inside, but looking neat on the outside. I want to be honest with myself and with others, but sometimes, I just hide all the mess inside, and smooth the outside over it.
I have been painting. For several years now, I have had a vision for my living room. Now is the time for the vision to become reality. The last time I painted, I promised myself that I would never, ever do that again. I either would live with what I had (fat chance), or hire someone to do it for me. When it gets right down to it, however, it is very difficult for me to pay someone to do what I should be able to do for myself. I thought I had hired someone, but their life situation changed, and painting my living room, entry hall, and hallway did not fit into their schedule. So, I have been painting.
While painting, I have had a lot of time to think. Painting is a solitary endeavor. It came to me how painting is a lot like life. Well, I hope my painting is not a lot like my life, but I think I must entertain the notion. Painting is messy. I am an exceptionally messy painter. I do not mean to be. I mean to learn from my mistakes....like leaving the top of the paint can where I can step in it. Having failed to learn from that lesson, one would hope that I at least have learned not to walk around with the paint on the bottom of my shoe. But, alas, it is not so.
Sometimes, in life, I just do not learn from my mistakes. I say exactly what I have told myself time and again not to say. I do what I know does not work. I do not do what I know is good and right for me. Life is messy. Sometimes, I just step in the messiness and track it wherever I go.
As the hours of painting turned into days of painting, fatigue began to overcome me, not to mention the aches and pains in my neck, shoulder, elbow and hand. As I grew more and more weary I discovered that I began to "cut corners." I did not remove anything from the closets, and just painted the outside of the doors. I dripped the white paint for the crown molding on the "ocean cruise" ( lovely turquoise-blue color) wall. Early in the day, I wiped the drips up. I touched up the spots with fresh paint. At first glance, the room looks pretty good, but if one were to look closely, it would be very easy to tell where I began and where I ended. It would be simple to know when fatigue set in. Those mistakes will not show when the room is furnished for I will strategically hang a picture or place a piece of furniture to hide the imperfections. I will always know they are there, but my guests will not.
I fear that sometimes, in my life, I begin to "cut corners" when fatigue overtakes me. I try to look good at first glance, but if closely scrutinized, it would be easy to tell when I began to make compromises and take short cuts. I tend to want to hide my imperfections behind some grand gesture, yet, I will always know they are there.
Despite my poor sheet folding, I still love to take out clean sheets fragrant with Gain fabric softener and stretch them across my mattress. Despite my flawed painting, I already love sitting in my living room as the sunlight catches the prisms hanging in the window, casting dancing rainbows all about. I am reminded that I do not have to be perfect to be good. I do not have to be flawless to be loved. I know that everyone grows weary; that "fatigue makes cowards of us all." I know that because of my imperfection, I have a greater understanding of grace and mercy. I have a greater obligation to extend them as well. So, I will embrace my flaws, try to learn from them, and be forever grateful for a God who delights in me.
For today, I wish you the knowledge of the Father's delight in you, the wisdom to learn from your mistakes, the wisdom to rest when you are weary, smooth bedsheets, and I wish you
blessings
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