Thursday, December 22, 2011

Entitlement

Last week I was having a conversation with friends...well, actually, I was spouting off at the mouth about  all the things I will and will not do as a grandmother.  Both these friends are grandmothers themselves, and I appreciate greatly their tolerance armed with the knowledge that the day will come when I will be forced to eat most of the words I was spouting.  Hopefully, I will look back on that day with humor as I am gorging on my poorly spoken diatribe.

But, it did get me to thinking about the sense of entitlement I see in people.  That air of, "the world owes me just because I'm here."  Guess what.  It doesn't!   We all know people with the attitude of, " if I can't do it  then you can't either."  Obviously, a noble goal would be to raise people who have an attitude of, "if you can't do it, then I won't either while we're together."  It drives me crazy that we as a society force that sort of compliance on people.  It is bad for everyone.

Growing up, I had cousins who were Catholic.  When we visited my grandmother on Fridays, my cousins could not eat meat.  She always made a fish dish for them, but the rest of us could eat meat.  My cousins never indicated that they felt ill-used because the rest of us had meat for lunch and they could not.  The not-eating meat was part of their faith.  Where would the lesson have been if everyone was forced to comply with their requirements?   They understood that was what they ate on Fridays.  They did not expect it of everyone else.  I would like to think that we, the Protestants, offered to eat fish on Fridays when we were with our cousins.  I do not remember if we did or not, but I do know we would have been more likely to do that with a cheerful spirit than if we had been forced.

Life has changed.  School systems seem to be some of the worst offenders.  Why in the world do some public high schools have 25 valedictorians?  That tarnishes the honor for everyone...those who deserve it, and those who really do not.  The attitude that if every child cannot go on a certain field trip, then no one can.  If a Muslim child is not allowed to enter a Christian church, then no child can, even if the visit to the church is strictly for the historical value of the structure.  Who does that benefit?  It creates a sense of entitlement in one demographic and a sense of resentment in the other.  And, I just use that as an example.  The reverse would be true if a historic mosque was the destination, and a Christian child prevented the group from visiting.  If we believe it, how much better to stand up for it, regardless of what others are doing.

And, teachers of the year.  Why can't the same teacher get the teacher of the year award every year...if they deserve it.  Why are they not deserving this year just because they won last year?  I do not get it.

We sort of live like we are all on a T-ball team....everybody gets to play the same amount of time.  Really?  I have a friend who is part of an organization.  At the end of each year, awards are distributed.  They are not based on merit.  A member could be the most mediocre person in their position in the organization, and still be given an award just because they did not get it last year.  Of course, that also means that even if a person excelled beyond all expectations and everyone knows it, they cannot receive the award because they had it last year.  Talk about an incentive destroyer.  Unless a person is very strong in character, and has a well developed sense of self-respect, why would they put forth any extra effort?  Those who are mediocre will just revel in their mediocrity knowing full well that they will be awarded at the end of the year because it is "their turn."  Those who know, no matter how excellently they perform, they cannot be awarded because they were last year, might as well sit back and coast.  Who does this benefit?  No one.

Well, I've written this over a period of days while visiting my precious girls in Minnesota so it may be totally incoherent.  But, for today, I wish you some meritocracy, some accountability, some sacrificial love toward others, and I wish you

blessings

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