I have been doing some self-righteous pontificating. With a very minimal amount of information (I don't read the paper or watch the news), I jumped on the "crucify them" bandwagon concerning the Penn State mess. The young man who apparently actually witnessed an episode of sexual abuse received the greatest dose of my disdain. "How dare he not stop it when he saw it," I ranted to Mr. Lincoln, knowing full well that he would agree with me, but he did not. Certainly, he does not condone sexual abuse nor the mistreatment of children. But, he is bemused by those of us who have not been in a certain situation thinking we know full well what we would do. He explained to me that this young man, an age 26 graduate assistant at the time, upon viewing a powerful and influential man in the Penn State community abusing a young boy went to his dad for advice. His dad told him to report it to Coach Paterno, who in turn, reported it to school authorities. They both felt they had handed the situation over to those who would see to it that it was handled properly.
I have never, to my knowledge, witnesssed anyone sexually abusing a child. I have, however, seen parents, in my opinion, abusing their children in public by yelling or slapping or pretending to leave them behind. On occasion, I may have given them the stink-eye, but I have never actually said anything. Once, as I was driving across the Victory Memorial Bridge, I saw a young man and woman arguing and shoving each other. He was much bigger then she. Did I stop? No, I did not. I did drive until I saw a police officer several blocks away, and reported it to him. I had done my civic duty, or had I?
I remember being at a local elementary school to speak. It was St. Patrick's Day. This is a great school, but several years ago, they had the most verbally abusive teacher it has been my displeasure with which to work. This day, as the students were coming into the space where I was speaking, a couple boys were cutting up, as boys will do. She yelled at one of them, belittled him, made a spectacle of him in front of everyone else. I was steaming, but, did I say anything? No, I did not. I mean, come on, I could not insult a teacher at one of my favorite schools. I needed their business.
I know. Some of you (if anybody is reading this) are thinking that I have no business getting in the middle of someone else's argument or fight. I might get hurt. Or, maybe that the teacher was not really going to hurt that little 4th grade boy. He should not have been cutting up. That is the rationalization I use often to avoid involvement. Some of you may be thinking that it is not the same thing as the Penn State situation, but the principle is the same, I think, well, I think after Mr. Lincoln pointed it out to me.
Okay, well, maybe I would not have done as much in the situation as I think I would have. Maybe I am a whole lot more self-righteous than righteous. But, that Sandusky fellow, he certainly deserves my condemnation. I mean is there anything lower than someone who preys on innocent children? Well, no, there is nothing worse than a person who takes advantage of the weakness of others, be they children or the elderly or the handicapped. But, having said that, I truly do not believe that someone wakes up one day and decides they will be a child molester. Just like I do not believe that people decide to be alcoholics, or drug, sex, food, personal drama, shopping or any other kind of addict. It is a weakness in us, and we all have something that at times prevents us from being the person we are meant to be. It is just so very easy for me to excuse my addiction to sugar as not being all that bad. But, it comes from the same place as Mr. Sandusky's addiction.
Please do not hear me saying that he should not be held accountable. He should be. He needs serious counseling, and if it is determined that he cannot control his impulses, then he, in my opinion, needs to be kept as far away from children as is possible. Children deserve to be provided for and protected by the adults in their lives. But, Mr. Sandusky does not need to be the subject of my self-righteous pontificating. I need to be the subject of that.
I tell the children on my walking tours that they must stay behind me at all times. That just because a sign in Downtown Nashville says it is safe to walk does not mean that it is. They often are correcting each other and saying, "get behind her....she said you had to stay behind her...you're beside her, you better get behind her etc.." I always stop and tell those who are bossing their classmates around, "you take care of where you are, and if I feel like someone is violating my rules, I will let them know." That is a good lesson for me. I think the Bible talks about it in terms of specks and planks.
So, thanks to Mr. Lincoln, instead of crucifying the people involved in the Penn State debacle, and pontificating on how pitifully everyone involved acted, perhaps I will involve myself in a little less self-righteous justification and a little more honest self examination. Perhaps, no definitely, my time would be better spent in praying for everyone involved from Mr. Sandusky to the young boys he harmed, and everyone in between. I better throw myself in that pool of prayer, because, heaven knows I need it.
So for today, I pray that we all treat ourselves and those in our lives with love and care and understanding, and I pray for you
blessings
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