For 34 years, I have done walking tours, sharing Nashville and Tennessee history with school children. I love my job. I think understanding our past is very important. Having said that, I know that history is not an exact science and that most every "fact" has a bias attached to it. I get that. I do.
This is the first year that I have started my tour with an apologetic, if you will, for what I do. This push in our country to blot out parts of history that we don't like, or that make us uncomfortable is ludicrous. Absolutely, there are things that have happened that should offend every thinking human. But, that is not all there is. We have not only offended, we have defended. We have not merely been destructive, we have been constructive. Neither should be forgotten. Both need to be studied so the one can be avoided and the other can be emulated. Nor, is it fair to judge 18th and 19th century motives with 21st century hindsight. Yes, by all means, recognize the results, but it is cheap and unfair (hate that word) to judge motives. The Lord God in heaven knows that this generation is going to be judged by the outcomes of decisions, and I am pretty sure we are going to come up lacking.
Having said that, here is one thing I hate about the atmosphere in this country right now and for which this generation should be maligned . Today, as I stood in front of the Sam Davis statue talking to a precious group of 4th graders, a man came walking down the hill and stepped right up to the edge of my group. His hands were in his pockets. I hate that my first thought was to wonder if he had a gun hidden there. And, I was not the only adult there who wondered. As I told Sam's story, I also wondered if I should edge myself closer to the man so that I would be between him and the children. I figured that might buy some time when he began firing. How sick is that? How possible is that? This was probably somebody's sweet grandpa who was just roaming around downtown Nashville visiting the sites. I kept talking, watching him, observing parents growing more and more uncomfortable. As I talked, the teacher, a tiny little spitfire, walked over to the man and kindly asked what he was doing. I don't know if she explained that it was a private tour or exactly what she said, but shortly afterward the man walked away. I hate that I looked at that man with suspicion.
Over the years, I have had many people come and try to join our group. Sometimes it is a homeless person, or a person who is suffering some mental malady who wishes to tag along. In all these years, I have only had one homeless person try to snatch an umbrella from one of the students. We are talking hundreds of tours and thousands of students. I have never felt afraid until today. I realize that the shooting in Texas is fresh on my mind, and so my fear meter is very delicate. But, I hate it. I would like to say that in a few days, while I will still grieve with the country over the loss of lives in that tiny church in that tiny town, I will no longer have an underlying fear, but who knows when the next mass shooting will occur? Where will it be next time?
This is not meant to be political. I hate politics too, while I am on the subject of hating. I get that people want guns to hunt. If you need a handgun to make yourself feel safe, you should have it, I guess. But, why does any private citizen need a semi-automatic gun? Why? Why would anyone be opposed to background checks or a waiting period (obviously, I am not clear on gun-buying procedures) before a person could purchase a gun? I sincerely do not understand. I am not trying to spark some asinine political diatribe. Frankly, unless you can give me a reasonable explanation why anyone, beside someone presently in the military, needs a semi-automatic weapon, I don't want to hear your dumb arguments that this is not a gun problem, but rather a "heart problem." No joke it's a heart problem and a head problem and, in my not-so-humble opinion, an entitled problem. But, it is also a gun problem when any mentally deranged, or mean, or drunk, or stupid, or angry person can walk into a store, spend some money and walk out with a gun. I sincerely do not believe those who wrote the 2nd amendment could have ever anticipated the efficiency with which these semi-automatic weapons can kill. I wonder if those who argue the right to own how many of whatever kind of gun anyone wants would change if it was their 5 year old child who was shot 5 times on a Sunday morning as he sat in church.
Can you tell that Pollyanna has left the building? She'll make her way back, but, this afternoon, I am so (insert your own adverb here) angry!!!!
