Lately, I have been observing navel gazers. 'Lest I sound extraordinarily judgmental and blind-to-myself, let me say that I can be a champion navel gazer at times. I suspect we all can, but admit it, most of us know someone who rarely, if ever, suspends their navel gazing long enough to look up and see the world around them.
Some may be asking, "what in the world is a navel gazer?" A navel gazer is someone who just cannot seem to quit staring at their own belly button...figuratively. If someone is a literal navel gazer, perhaps a bit of therapy would be in order. Actually, a literal navel gazer would at times be preferable to a figurative one.
Recently, I had a conversation which got my thoughts running in this direction. A friend mentioned a mutual acquaintance. Before I go any further, let me say that this friend is known for neither talking about nor criticizing people. In fact, she is the opposite of that, and almost always finds the good in others. In our conversation, she mentioned how this acquaintance was the most critical person she had ever met. She talked of how sweet the acquaintance's husband was, but that she felt the acquaintance did not have a sweet bone in her body. I said, "it's because she's a navel gazer." It is downright impossible to be sweet to others when you are looking at your own belly button.
Once in a conversation, I heard my daughter make a very profound statement. Someone queried as to whether a particular person was so extraordinarily rude and hateful on purpose. MP replied that it could not be on purpose because the person does not realize there are other people around. That is pretty much the illness of a navel gazer. They see everything that is said or done in terms of how it relates to them.
You know the ones...the ones who act embarrassed by something someone else does or says...as if those actions or words reflect on them. You know who I am talking about...those people who sit in a room of people who have feelings similar to their own...maybe they are all shy, maybe they are all grieving, maybe they are all joyful...whatever, and the navel gazers are so certain that they are the only ones who feel that way. Navel gazers see their concerns and emotions as far more unique than they are. Truth be told, we are all pretty much confused about most of life. If navel gazers would just look around them, they would know that.
Navel gazing manifests itself in a couple different ways. Some navel gazers just beat up on themselves. Nobody could have screwed up as badly as they. No one is as weird as they are. Nobody's life is as pitiful as theirs. Then there are the ones who find themselves to be superior to all those around them. Nobody is as smart as they are. No one does as much as they do. Everybody else is on this earth to annoy them. Sadly, the results are often the same from both genres. Navel gazers do not inconvenience themselves for others. Their comfort and needs are the most important. They are most fascinated by their own belly buttons.
Today at lunch I saw some serious navel gazing. Mr. Lincoln, who is as far from being a navel gazer as anyone I know, and I went out after church. The restaurant was packed and the line was long. When we walked in there were only about 2 tables that were empty. We waited in line to order. A couple walked in several minutes after we did. There were probably a dozen people in line between us. The wife proceeded to find tables to hold...rearranging them to meet her party's needs....while other people were waiting with their food to find a place to eat. Seriously? Bless her heart (a Southern way of saying 'I'd really like to box her ears'), she was oblivious to the people around her.
As if that was not enough, because there were no available tables, they were letting people who were placing to-go orders get out of the line and order at the "call-in" cash register. This is what Mr. Lincoln and I opted for. While waiting for our order so we could come home and eat, we watched a lady jump the line, order food to-go and promptly carry it to her children who were holding a table! Wake up, quit looking at your own belly button, see the lessons you are teaching your children (wrong on so many levels), and have some consideration for the people around you. Please! And, it is Christmastime - the season of goodwill and love. Sadly, both women looked as though they had just come from church.
Yes, I gaze at my navel at times. I can be so guilty of saying "I hear you," when in fact I do not. I can ignore what is going on around me. I can not allow myself to be inconvenienced, or worse, I can do what is asked, and make dadgum sure you know that you have bothered me. I hate it when I do that. I wish I could succinctly word the lessons at church today, but I am neither wise nor articulate enough to do so. I do know, however, that navel gazing prevents our living the abundant life we are meant to live.
For today, I wish you to neither be nor know navel gazers, and I wish you
blessings
